I'll miss hearing the adhaan, was thinking that today. I'll miss that so much.

M: mm..... there's a reason you're going to the cayman fatima
a reason beyond shaadi too...
there might be a reason ur going to a country where there is no azan
im sure there was no azan in the US some years back
mm..theres a lovely marketing anecdote
i'll share with you...
once a man running a shoe business called in two of his workers and said
go to such and such an island. find out what market there is for shoes
one man returned saying: no one wears shoes on the island. there's no market for ur product.
the other man returned saying:
no one wears shoes on the island. it is the perfect market for your product.

These Are Days (by 10,000 Maniacs)

These are days that you'll remember
Never before and never since, I promise
Will the whole world be warm as this
And as you feel it,
You'll know it's true
That you are blessed and lucky
It's true that you
Are touched by something
That will grow and bloom in you

These are days that you'll remember
When May is rushing over you
With desire to be part of the miracles
You see in every hour
You'll know it's true
That you are blessed and lucky
It's true that you are touched
By something that will grow and bloom in you

These are the days you might fill
With laughter until you break
These days you might feel
A shaft of light
Make its way across your face
And when you do
Then you'll know how it was meant to be
See the signs and know their meaning
It's true
Then you'll know how it was meant to be
Hear the signs and know they're speaking
To you, to you.

Lima didn't have to come. Here's how I found home in gaon.

"An old juhi chawla movie is playing on tv n im remembering u.haha.try escaping tht! bought my first heels frm cnk.ibrahim pooped n peed in his new potty." Texts Umme Ibrahim.

" :)

I heard you in my dream yesterday.

I was in this top story building and I was looking outside this glass window pane, and was fearing falling down, suddenly I heard someone scolding me.

It was you.

Ha ha.

Thanks for the rude awakening.

I even dream of you decently.

Lolz... "

I got reminded of my piano the other day. I was polishing a table top and the furniture polish smelt the same as the one I used to polish my piano every Sunday.

Today a friend asked me what I love doing, which reminded me of this weekly ritual all over again.

Both instances reminded me of something I used to do with loving regularity, each time with increasing devotion. I gave up my piano, amongst other things, and took on a lot of different things for a passion I have seemed to let falter over the years.

To think I used to wipe that piano clean, inside out. I knew how to tune the keys, even replace old strings, I was that aware of its anatomy. I could strip it bare and clean it to the bone, only to put it back together again. Every Sunday. I even painted the fading ebony keys myself, as I did the stool that came with it.

If only I could be as regular with my dhikr, and self-exploration through reading the Qur'an and being able to relate it to life itself, I would be able to say that I left my previous life not only for a faith alone, but a drive to keep it flowing through my veins. Not to have lost it with my past years.

I have that josh, that valvalla. I used it to play Bach's polonaises and Beethoven's sonatas, practicing until I had perfected them. Now I don't know my way around a piano when I see one, unsure of where to begin, alhamdo lillah the skills seem that distant and alien to me. The memory remains, but the skills don't.

I need to improve my prayer again. To add to my recitation during qiyaam so I can pray with increased concentration and devotion insha Allah. In order to recite more, I need to learn more.

I knew the answer to my friend's question was living life and seeing Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala's Majesty each day is what I love the most. Just that my enthusiasm is no match for my appreciation. It was my own shortcoming kept me from answering the question. Insha Allah I'll only get better now that I've identified the root of the problem.

I may be repeating myself but still: nothing, nothing beats having to hear the familiar, 'assalam o alaikum' in a crowded place. He Knows where and when to Plant reminders for me. Hearing these words make me believe all the more that these blessings are for myself alone, and so I take this love very personally. Subhan Allah.

Zairah wrote in an email, for no specific reason. Just because she wanted to write in, even though we speak almost everyday. The gratification of having someone think of me to such an extent that she chooses to take on such a simple way of expressing herself despite having so many other options. Perhaps she senses too that the simplest things are most effective. Alhamdo lillah.