ºFåtiº says:
acha sunnein
ºFåtiº says:
where did the picture of your cousins and yourself go?
M says:
hm?
ºFåtiº says:
I dreamt of it the night I slept at your place
M says:
the one with N.?
ºFåtiº says:
yeap
M says:
when i came back to khi last summer i put it in a safe place as i had left my room mostly empty left things with I. or locked them up
M says:
its still in a safe place
M says:
never put it out again
ºFåtiº says:
oh ok
ºFåtiº says:
how come?
M says:
dont know
ºFåtiº says:
I dreamt of it
M says:
when i came back after the summers I wasnt much myself and the whole play thing was happening then I fell sick
M says:
and then I just didnt want to take it out in my flat as it didnt feel like my flat
M says:
the nice colours and all were added this year
M says:
when i came back after the winter
M says:
somehow it didnt gell
M says:
gel
ºFåtiº says:
I spend a little time with you and I think I spend too much
M says:
why?
ºFåtiº says:
(= the dreams that reflect the subconscious overwhelm me
M says:
we all love deeply
M says:
even if its without the family
M says:
u i maryam
M says:
we might love a few only
M says:
but it runs deep
M says:
when i hear norah jones or sarah mchlachan i think of you and your life in KAS
M says:
somehow
M says:
and matchbox 20 reminds me acutely of how N. saw his house on winter mornings
ºFåtiº says:
(=
M says:
so
M says:
yes we all spend a little time and it might seem a lot
M says:
the amount of time I think has ceased to matter amongst us
M says:
its just the poignancy of the moment that grabs the subconscious really hard
M says:
its observations in your room too
M says:
i love you alwas
ºFåtiº says:
I know that.
ºFåtiº says:
I dreamt I asked you where the picture was.
ºFåtiº says:
I'll tell you the answer later.
ºFåtiº says:
Bon appetit.
ºFåtiº says:
Love you back.
M says:
tell me the answer
M says:
i want to know
ºFåtiº says:
You took me to your computer
ºFåtiº says:
and showed me the picture
M says:
on the pc?
ºFåtiº says:
which was safely tucked behind the screen
ºFåtiº says:
in a frame
ºFåtiº says:
the things I noticed in the dream were
ºFåtiº says:
the feeling that you had kept it in a *safe* place
ºFåtiº says:
and
ºFåtiº says:
the picture was smaller in size
ºFåtiº says:
those two things stood out even while I dreamt away
ºFåtiº says:
which is why I asked you
M says:
you know ur room seems like that to me now
ºFåtiº says:
how so?
M says:
a couple of years ago your room was more cluttered but with things that seemed to hold memories
M says:
and now its not so cluttered
M says:
and the memories and things related to love seem
M says:
more inside you and not on mantlepieces somehow
ºFåtiº says:
I know
ºFåtiº says:
I noticed that as well
M says:
previously it was all out, disorganised but out in the open in the room
M says:
i guess such things happen
ºFåtiº says:
now I take out things to show you
M says:
we keep our love in differnt places over the years
ºFåtiº says:
and yet it's always in a safe place.
M says:
yes it is
M says:
these days when I think of N. he seems to be smiling and I seem to be more upset than him
ºFåtiº says:
this will sound like something I would say to you while having the *just married* breakfasts we've had
M says:
in my thoughts of daydreams
ºFåtiº says:
but I'll say it still
ºFåtiº says:
oh ho
ºFåtiº says:
why do you think that?
M says:
go ahead
M says:
i dont knwo
M says:
just sharing it with u
M says:
i guess im with I. and at times it gets overwhelming that im with someone else
M says:
and at times i wonder if I. is happy with me as a natural stream
ºFåtiº says:
don't think or wonder that
M says:
what did u want to say to me
ºFåtiº says:
I get stuck when I do the same with Ryz
ºFåtiº says:
and then I think of something Ryz says, which is
M says:
?
ºFåtiº says:
don't think about things that you can't control
M says:
true
M says:
i reach that conclusion too at times
ºFåtiº says:
I don't know if he implies this particular state of mind, but I apply it nevertheless
M says:
that i dont know how or what is happening in someones head and whatever it is
ºFåtiº says:
I wanted to say that I'm glad we're growing older together
ºFåtiº says:
not only you and myself
ºFåtiº says:
all of us
M says:
its out of my explicit realm
M says:
true
ºFåtiº says:
I thought the same the night Zairah got engaged
ºFåtiº says:
and I was telling Maina the same thing
M says:
i miss you all when im involved in activities here that seem removed from me yet I am involved if even at the boundaries
M says:
i think of the comfort we all have grown into
M says:
and its not a 'gluttonous' form we're stuck in
M says:
its dynamic
M says:
love you
ºFåtiº says:
you're right, it's a "thick" form instead.
ºFåtiº says:
love you back
