I got reminded of my piano the other day. I was polishing a table top and the furniture polish smelt the same as the one I used to polish my piano every Sunday.

Today a friend asked me what I love doing, which reminded me of this weekly ritual all over again.

Both instances reminded me of something I used to do with loving regularity, each time with increasing devotion. I gave up my piano, amongst other things, and took on a lot of different things for a passion I have seemed to let falter over the years.

To think I used to wipe that piano clean, inside out. I knew how to tune the keys, even replace old strings, I was that aware of its anatomy. I could strip it bare and clean it to the bone, only to put it back together again. Every Sunday. I even painted the fading ebony keys myself, as I did the stool that came with it.

If only I could be as regular with my dhikr, and self-exploration through reading the Qur'an and being able to relate it to life itself, I would be able to say that I left my previous life not only for a faith alone, but a drive to keep it flowing through my veins. Not to have lost it with my past years.

I have that josh, that valvalla. I used it to play Bach's polonaises and Beethoven's sonatas, practicing until I had perfected them. Now I don't know my way around a piano when I see one, unsure of where to begin, alhamdo lillah the skills seem that distant and alien to me. The memory remains, but the skills don't.

I need to improve my prayer again. To add to my recitation during qiyaam so I can pray with increased concentration and devotion insha Allah. In order to recite more, I need to learn more.

I knew the answer to my friend's question was living life and seeing Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala's Majesty each day is what I love the most. Just that my enthusiasm is no match for my appreciation. It was my own shortcoming kept me from answering the question. Insha Allah I'll only get better now that I've identified the root of the problem.