I've always been a firm believer of the fact that Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala being As-Samad (the Absolute) can alone plan each and every event albeit how small or insignificant such that not only the ones involved are influenced by it, but each one who hears about it in turn are affected by it in some way or the other. It all is a matter of looking out for His signs.

About an hour ago I heard of someone passing away as a result of taking his own life. The third of a similar situation in the course of a year. It made me try to imagine the extent of disparity one must feel in order to take such a step.

Astaghfarullah. The state of having underestimated Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala's justice for that brief moment.

"And unto Allah leads straight the Way, but there are ways that turn aside: if Allah had willed, He could have guided all of you."

The Holy Quran, Surah An-Nahl (The Bee) 16:9

Hearing of such a death at this point in time makes me reflect on the times that I felt or impatient while relying on Allah to Set right my affairs. Or the times I prayed to him but half-heartedly. Astaghfarullah.

Some months ago Maryam told me about a relative who was released after being held by the intelligence for interrogation for almost four years. The only times his family heard from him were on Eid days, and nine months before his eventual return his family did not even get that one phone call.
Imagine what his mother would have felt at each ring of the telephone. She did not even know whether he was alive or not. Nine months.

I heard of that incident during a time I felt myself to be brutally caught in a limbo where I waited for a resolution that I knew was inevitable, but I did not have the vaguest sense of timeline to stamp it with.
Imagining myself in his mother's shoes shook me awake to realize what limbo must truly mean, while I was busy being caught in the romantic idea behind having to wait too long when it was my same Allah who was Trying me, and was well aware of my limitations.

Tonight this death fortified my faith in Allah and my service towards him, slaving so that He keeps me guided on the straight path, Ameen.

Just like I haven't slept on an argument without having resolved it ever since Adnan passed away. Allahu Akbar, for He has Helped me maintain that resolution despite varying time zones.

I can't help but think that alhamdo lillah if I remain reminded of His signs at times like these, I must be doing something right.