How humbling it must be for Bhaijan and Jaffer Bhai, to be masha Allah such able gastroenterologists with their independent practice, and have their mother succumb to a cancer of the lining of the stomach. Just how humbling.

Baji comes tonight insha Allah for Auntie's funeral and burial over the weekend insha Allah. Flashback, and I think of Ami dealing with Nana Abu's passing away, Nanhi Baji dealing with Taya Abu's and Lima dealing with Adnan's. Ryz expresses the void created by his mum passing away through the things he does not say, where his silence speaks much louder than his words. Maybe I feel he does it a lot more than my other loved ones because I tend to tune into his wavelength of emotions more often.

Just that the emotional hypochondriac seeps through and I dread having to see my sister so sad. May Allah Give me strength to be of help to Baji during this time. I remember my frequent trips to the cancer hospice and thinking that I would be best prepared to deal with Nana Abu's growing illness. And yet, no amount of trips or exposure to cancer patients were enough to prepare me for his succumbing to lung cancer.

Allahu Akbar, for He has made me think a lot differently over the years. For when I saw Nanhi Baji during Taya Abu's death, Surah Al-Mulk made me come to terms with death in a way no human philosophy could, probably because all other philosophies and beliefs are truly, merely human.

I could stare forever at the keyboard while searching for a resolution to this post in my mind. Just that there is no resolution. Just dhikr of Allah and subhan Allah, this is sufficient.

Sometimes I write posts on this blog and not my main blog only because I cannot think of a suitable title to put in.

What makes children imitate the salaat? Is it having to observe a person being completely involved in an action and not being responsive to the external environment? I doubt they think as much. Alhamdo lillah it's such a pleasure to watch them kneel when I do, prostrate as I do and raise their hands to prayer as I would. Although Meher bows in my direction instead facing the other way, it's remarkable how every child I've prayed in front of resorts to imiatation. I don't take it personally, which is why I love their actions so much. I am imitating the Rasool Allah SAWS' sunnah in my way of salaat, and children imitating me, are in turn doing the same. Alhamdo lillah, it feels like the same new kind of magic each time.

There's a feeling so marvellous about being identified as a Muslim by other Muslims, especially in a non-Muslim country.
Before I was mistakenly assumed as Hispanic or even Lebanese by some.
Alhamdo lillah now I am not known from whichever nation I may belong to, rather it is my faith that has become my identity.